GET Off YOUR ARSE & LOSE WEIGHT STRAIGHT-TALKING ADVICE ON HOW TO GET THIN FROM STEVE MILLER Copyright © 2007 Steve Miller The right of Steve Miller to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. First published in 2007 by HEADLINE PUBLISHING GROUP 3 Apart from any use permitted under UK copyright law, this publication may only be reproduced, stored, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means, with prior permission in writing of the publishers or, in the case of reprographic production, in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Every eflbrt has been made to fulfil requirements with regard to reproducing copyright material. The author and publisher will be glad to rectify any omissions at the earliest opportunity Cataloguing in Publication Data is available from the British Library ISBN 978 07553 1765 3 Typeset in Bell MT by Ben Cracknell Studios Printed and bound in Great Britain by MacKays Headline's policy is to use papers that are natural, renewable and recyclable products and made from wood grown in sustainable forests. The logging and manufacturing processes are expected to conform to the environmental regulations of the country of origin. HEADLINE PUBLISHING GROUP An Hachette Livre UK Company 338 Euston Road London NW I 3BH Acknowledgements Amy and Ryan, my special niece and nephew, for lighting up my life; my mum and dad for providing a superb grounding in my life; Matt Rowlands, my agent, who has the patience of a saint; Eddie Bell for his fabulous support; Jean Wilde for fun, friendship and practical guidance; Brenda Colebourne - a stunning Life Bitch role model; Jacquie Pond for believing in me all the way along; Maggi Reilly for proving that even with a large family anything is possible with the Life Bitch; Alan Possart for his patience, love and support; Terry Brookes, my P.A. and soul mate; Debbie Fisher for the belly laughs and sparkly friendship we share; Jo Roberts-Miller for being such a quality publisher; Lindsey Gibson for her invigorating focus; my friends, clients and pets. www.headline.co.uk Preface Why I'm the Life Bitch (not a Tamworth pig) Despite what you might think, especially when you've finished the book, I wasn't born a Life Bitch; it's something that's grown from within me. Unlike your expanding waistline, this is something I'm proud of, that's been in my head for years, that I have planned and nurtured. I was born in a`working-class' village called Kingsbury, near Tamworth in Warwickshire, but there's no Tamworth pig in me and I'll tell you why. On the council estate where I grew up, people worked very hard, knowing that every penny counted, and we all understood that you did a hard day's work for a reasonable day's pay. It wasn't that long ago, but things have changed in our world and in my opinion not for the better. I'm not looking at `my' world through rose-tinted glasses; I'm telling you why there weren't so many chubby folks and why people didn't come up with excuses - they just got on with making the best of their lives. In our concrete council house there was my mum, dad, sister and me. Dad worked as an operative at an oil depot and Mum did cleaning jobs. They are both grafters and are only just coming up for retirement. They taught me to be ambitious and one of my core Life Bitch principles: you get out of life what you put in. This is a home truth that I hold dear to my heart and it is what drives me, in a very personal sense, on my Life Bitch crusade. The biggest single influence on me when I was growing up was my mum, and it was from her that I got the values I cherish. When we were unsure of ourselves or messing around she would say, 'Don't faff about - just do it,' or `Just get to the point.' You could say my mum's the original Life Bitch because she made me appreciate that an honest, no-nonsense attitude achieves results. I've never forgotten the environment in which Mum's sound advice was given. The community had a real sense of unity, especially at Christmas, when we would be in and out of each other's houses, sharing hospitality. I grew up appreciating that the turkey on Christmas Day was a luxury and that my folks had worked hard to provide it. We saw things like a colour television as a massive treat. Things like this just weren't taken for granted, and we were grateful for the small things in life. I learnt a lot from Mum, some of which comes into the book, particularly practical advice for weight control. For example, she used to say, `Stop making silly excuses. If you want to lose weight, keep your trap shut.' Her view, and mine, is very much about using your common sense and not stuffing your face with food or resorting to fad diets and pills. As I look back on the common-sense attitudes I grew up with, they are still incredibly relevant now because we have a society that is cushioned and pampered, where we skirt around the truth that fat people are fat because they are lazy and choose to be fat by eating too much. So you will have gathered that I strongly believe that nowadays it is too easy for people to get fat and stay fat. When I was a kid, it was a huge luxury just to have a packet of chocolate biscuits in the cupboard, things like takeaways didn't exist and it was very rare that we went out for meals. These days, chocolate, crisps, fizzy drinks, pizzas, alcopops, ready-meals and all the other processed shit that you eat and drink are cheap, easy and everywhere. But, hold your horses there! Don't you dare use the cheapness and availability of processed food as an excuse for you being fat! It's you who is stuffing the cakes etc. down your throat, you who won't buy cheap, fresh, healthy food, and you who won't shift your lardy arse off the couch! My mum and dad worked longer hours than most to guarantee we had enough money to buy decent food. The real issue for me is that they still found the time to prepare the food from scratch, make sure we ate as a family and provide a balanced diet. My parents inspired me and my siblings to take responsibility for our own eating habits and to maintain an ideal weight. Don't give me that work/life balance claptrap; it doesn't wash with me. How come my mum and dad could provide a stable home life, go out to work every day, putting in all those extra hours, and still provide good, natural, nutritious food for the family? The answer is simple: they made the time because they knew it was very important for our health and well-being. The obvious truth is that people are now being conditioned to be lazy. Children learn to walk and then quickly learn to sit down in front of a computer or television for hours on end. Adults are too lazy to walk to the shops, and sometimes can't even be bothered to drive to them; instead they order from the internet and get the processed food and booze delivered to their doors. I truly believe that people need to look in the mirror, give themselves a talking to and start to reverse the negative impact of our present society on weight issues. They have to make simple lifestyle changes and stop expecting the state to wrap them in cotton wool and make excuses for them. They need to learn about sensible eating and exercise. Our ancestors would fall about laughing at the state of us today, with some fat people moaning that the government isn't doing anything to help them. Just 30 or 40 years ago, people would never have got into the situation where they relied on junk food and cheap booze to keep them going. As well as giving me my no-nonsense attitude and common sense when it comes to lifestyle and weight, my mum and dad planted the seeds in my mind that would drive my professional ambition and success. I left school with few noteworthy qualifications, but realised from my parents' pep-talks that getting good exam results (and therefore making my own luck) would help me to develop a successful career. I knew they were right and so I went to college to take some exams and I thrived in that learning environment, where I was treated more like an adult. This motivated me to go on to Huddersfield Poly, where I gained a qualification in business, paving the way for a successful career in sales and marketing (the only time I ignored parental advice - they wanted me to go into insurance). From a sales environment I went into the world of human resources (HR) and training. For some reason, I thought the right approach in HR was a`touchy-feely' one, but how wrong I was. What I later found worked was honest, practical common sense, and that was another step up to becoming the Life Bitch I am now. That's why I hold business gods such as Sir Alan Sugar in the highest regard. They say it as it is, they expect results and get results. Believe me, our workplaces are not the right environments for tea and sympathy. Looking at what motivated me to reach the top in my profession, I recognised I had a talent and flair for communication (I was a Butlins Redcoat for a while). But, at the same time, the breakdown and ending of a relationship that I really valued knocked my confidence to a degree that I started to suffer from panic attacks. I'd read about the benefits of clinical hypnosis in dealing with panic attacks and boosting self-confidence and decided to try it. Not only was clinical hypnosis my cure, it was my inspiration. It worked so well that I decided I had to pay for training to learn its techniques, which I could then ...
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