Sunday Sport 2015-01-18.pdf

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SUNDAY
January 18, 2015
£1
(on sale until Tuesday, January 20, 2015)
Leah
Francis
gets
NAKED
Gemma
Merna is
TOPLESS
inside
THIS
paper
BB KEN
HID HIS
WILLY IN
SAUSAGE
BUTTY
FULL STORY – PAGE 9
January 18, 2015
3
Age 29, 32D-22-34, from Ealing
Emily Scott
STRICTLY Come
Dancing
minx Pixie
Lott says she’s getting
RAUNCHIER as she
grows older.
The blonde pop star
(above) is already well
known for her skimpy
outfits and saucy stage
routines.
And the 24-year-old
has vowed to get even
more RUDE as she
matures.
Lay Me Down
crooner
Pixie purred: “I think I
do have a responsibility
to my younger fans, so
I’m aware of what I do
or wear, but at the
same time a video has
to reflect the music.
“It’s about telling a
story – and the stories
I tell are obviously
going to get a bit more
raunchy as I get older.
“My parents are fine
with it. They know it’s
about me playing a
role. I’m not sure my
mum has shown my
granddad some of my
videos, though.”
Pixie’s next gig will
see her performing live
at the National
Television Awards on
Wednesday.
Pixie plans
to get a lot
more rude!
Jaime needs
socks ’n’ sex
to survive!
MOVIE hardman Ray
Winstone will be left
red-faced after his actress
daughter blurted out
her love of SEX!
Hot Jaime Winstone
(above) famously whipped
out her boobs in 2009
movie
Boogie Woogie.
Now the 29-year-old
has told how she can’t
live without a good
shagging.
Jaime, who plays
cannibal Ash in new
ITV2 apocalypse comedy
Cockroaches,
revealed:
“I think I’d cope well
after an apocalypse. I
can be quite feral.
“To survive, I’d need
really good shoes, socks
and a good weapon.
“I’d also need some
sort of art to keep me
stimulated.
“And, if I’m honest,
some sort of sex. That’s
what keeps us going as
humans!”
4
January 18, 2015
HE TAKES
ALL THE
WEEK’S
NEWS &
PULLS ITS
PANTS
DOWN
MONDAY
BREWING giant Carlsberg
announces plans to make its
famous Special Brew beer
WEAKER.
Lovers of the super-strength
tipple will never stand for that
– they’ll take to the streets!
Although, to be fair, that is
where most of them live
already.
NO, IT’S COCK!
TUESDAY
Is that a chicken in my burger..?
BURGER fan Joe Vaughn nearly choked on his
curly fries – when he spotted his fast food
came in the shape of a giant COCK ‘N’ BALLS!
Joe, 43, from Middlewich, Cheshire, said:
“I took it straight back to the shop.
“There’s no way I’m putting owt shaped
like a cock and balls in my mouth, thank you
very ruddy much!”
ANIMAL
rights
activists
protest
after an Icelandic
brewer
announces
plans for a beer
flavoured with the
smoked testicles of
the fin whale. I thought that was used in all beers –
isn’t that why after three pints we all start talking
’fin bollocks.
WEDNESDAY
FRENCH mag
Charlie Hebdo
causes a stir by
publishing yet
another cartoon
of the Muslim
prophet Mohammed.
Thankfully in this country we can put
ANYTHING we like on our magazine covers.
Unless, of course, a dozen stroppy housewives
start a petition because they don’t like seeing
pictures of younger, hotter women – in which
case the magazines have to be placed in
“modesty covers”, which are a bit like burkas
for books.
Je suis Charlie? Oui!
A nice pair of Charlies? NON NON NON!
THURSDAY
THE actress Gwyneth Paltrow
admits to having previously
taken ecstasy.
The illegal drug is said to give
users a feeling of extreme
euphoria – but I guess if you’re
married to professional wet
blanket Chris Martin, it might just about bring you
up to a mild grumpiness.
Fans of Gwyneth were initially shocked that she
had consumed E’s. But only because they thought it
meant she’d been at the fish fingers and orange
squash.
FRIDAY
ATTENTION-seeking cricket
ace Kevin Pietersen reveals
his latest tattoo: a map of the
world on his back, with a red
star for every place he
scored a century.
Asked what the scale
was, he replied: “That’s not
a scale, it’s just a zit.”
DANNY DYER HAS
A
MASSIVE
BALLBAG
TOP BOLLOCKS:
Actor Danny
strips in comedy
Plebs
and
(below) co-star
Ryan Sampson
By JOHN FITZPATRICK
fitzy@sundaysport.co.uk
SATURDAY
EASTENDERS actor
Danny Dyer has
plums so big they
look like a MANGO!
That’s the shocking
scrotal confession by
former co-star Ryan
Sampson, who worked
him on ITV2’s Roman
comedy
Plebs.
A MAJOR new study shows
that laziness is more deadly
than obesity.
I’d love to tell you what
else it said but I couldn’t be
arsed reading it.
Meanwhile, doctors are
failing to tell obese patients
to lose weight for fear of
upsetting them, according
to new research. “It’s the elephant in the room,” said
one GP. Well if you put it like that, of course they’ll
get upset!
Co-star’s
scrotum
shocker
Speaking to
Sunday
Sport
ahead of the DVD
release of
Plebs
series 2,
Ryan revealed Danny’s
gigantic gonad secret.
The 29-year-old said:
“He’s got this thing, and
he wouldn’t mind me
saying this I’m sure –
elephantitis of the balls.
“It might sound like a
joke, but it looks like a
mango. He’s desperate
to show everyone. It’s
a
not-very-well-kept
industry secret.
“It’s like Bigfoot – at
some point somebody’s
going to catch it on
camera. Then everyone
will know about it.”
Ryan also said Danny,
who plays Mick Carter
in the BBC1 soap, has a
mad drinking game.
The aim is to match
Danny, 37, in whatever
he downs.
Ryan admitted: “It
was impossible. We
were all smashed by the
end. He’s a machine.
The first thing he did
was order Limoncello
for everyone. That gives
you an idea.”
January 18, 2015
5
Corrie tranny
prepares to go
nude on telly
FORMER
Corrie
tranny
Hayley Cropper is
gearing up to make her
NUDE telly debut!
Weatherfield’s Hayley
– aka actress Julie
Hesmondhalgh – is
appearing in new gay
telly series
Cucumber.
And Julie, who’ll
play single mum-of-
three Cleo in the
drama, says it features
an X-rated SEX scene,
which could see her
baring her BOOBS for
the first time.
The 44-year-old
revealed: “This is the
raciest show I’ve ever
filmed.
“When they offered
me the part the
producers did say, ‘You
should probably read
episode four…’
“I said to my
husband Ian, ‘What
could possibly be in it?
A sex scene?’
“But it’s actually
BAD sex, so that’s not
so hard to do!”
Cucumber
begins on
Channel 4, Thursday,
9pm.
CHARLIE
ASBO!
Nine-year-old
sent home
from school
for drawing
‘provocative’
cartoons
ART ATTACK: Damian’s
creations left his
fellow pupils in tears
I WOULD really like
to f**k Rachel
Riley’s brains out. It
would take ages!
– Jimmy Carr
Bench kip drunk
had cock in hand
A COURT ordered a man
to be treated for his booze
problem after he fell
asleep on a bench with
his COCK in his hand.
Cops found Lain Elliott,
45, with his trousers
down and his willy
exposed in his right hand
outside a community
centre.
A can of lager was next
to him and there was
urine on the ground under
the bench in Tunbridge
Wells, Kent.
He told Sevenoaks
Magistrates Court: “It
will not happen again.
“I am disgusted with
myself. I won’t be going
back there either.”
Elliott was given an
18-months community
order and must go on an a
six months alcohol
treatment programme for
outraging public decency.
TEARAWAY Damian Garside
was sent home from school
for daubing “provocative and
offensive” cartoons during an
art class.
Now the nine-year-old’s mum is
comparing his case to that of the
French magazine
Charlie Hedbo,
which came under murderous
attack for publishing cartoons of
the Prophet Mohammed.
By SIMON DEAN
simon@sundaysport.co.uk
Last weekend in Paris more than
one and a half million people marched
in support of
Charlie Hedbo,
where
12 people were murdered in an
attack by Islamic terrorists.
that I’d get Lawyers 4U on him.
“But he threatened to call cops on
me – just because I were a bit drunk.
F**king bastard.”
A spokesman for St Jude’s Primary
said: “The drawings Damien drew
were provocative, offensive and
upsetting for the other children.
“Poor little Ivan Cohen wet his
trousers when he saw the one of
the lady and the wolves. We are not
trying to stifle Damien’s imagination,
far from it. He is an imaginative and
talented artist, but the images
are not in any way appropriate for
Year 5.”
Despite the global outpouring of
support for
Charlie Hebdo,
backing
for Damian – who has three Asbos
to his name – has been more
muted.
One parent from St Jude’s – who
asked not to be named – said: “Our
Shannice said it was of fannies and
axes and dogs and shit. He’s sick in
head, that lad.”
More than three million people
took part in unity marches across
France on Sunday, with an estimated
1.6million in Paris alone.
Many carried placards reading
“Je Suis Charlie” – I Am Charlie.
Last week Charlie Hebdo published
as usual, with a picture of the
Prophet Mohammed on the cover.
Oppressing
And Damien’s mum Kylie wants
the world to stand up for her son’s
“freedom of speech and expression
and that”.
Kylie, 25, from Crewe, Cheshire,
stormed: “I can’t f**king believe that
teachers will send our Damien home
for drawing cartoons when Prime
Minister and King of Germany and
that were saying we had to stand up
for cartoons in that French comic.
“I went down that school when they
sent our Damien home and told the
headmaster that he was oppressing
our Damien’s freedom of speech and
999 NO-NO
SICK John Wainwright,
43, of Arnold, Notts,
has been jailed for 18
weeks after dialling 999
1,200 times in a year to
make “sexually explicit”
remarks to staff.
FROGS HOPPING
MAD: Paris
protests in
support of
Charlie Hebdo

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