The Winchester Family Circus.pdf

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Posted originally on the
Archive of Our Own
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1048588.
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M/M
Supernatural
Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Gabriel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel,
Anna Milton, John Winchester, Jo Harvelle, Chuck Shurley
Mpreg, Secret Relationship, Unplanned Pregnancy,
Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Eating Disorders,
Alternate Universe - Circus, Circus, John Winchester's Bad
Parenting, Community: sabriel_mini
Published: 2013-11-18 Words: 14293
Stats:
The Winchester Family Circus
by
bellacatbee
Summary
Gabriel ran away to join the circus, climbed the ranks and became a clown. He knows that
he doesn't really belong however. John Winchester doesn't want him there.
Sam is a different matter.
Sam and Gabriel are having an affair, one that needs to remain secret. It would do, apart
from a broken condom that leads to an unplanned and unexpected pregnancy that will
force their secret into the light.
Notes
Thank you to my wonderful beta, Casness!
This story does include references to Castiel having an eating disorder but this is discussed
from a secondary POV, normally Gabriel's, and is not focused on.
The story takes place in a Universe where male pregnancy is normal.
Sam hated clowns.
He’d always found them terrifying. He didn’t know what it was about them – the painted smiles
that seemed to hide the person behind them, the fact that they were associated with pranks and
unfunny practical jokes or just the way that they seemed grotesque exaggerations of themselves.
Whatever it was about them, Sam hated them.
It didn’t make growing up in a circus much fun for him.
He liked all the clowns he’d known out of costume. Most of them had been dour men who drank
a little too much and painted on their happiness, but Sam had still liked them.
Once they put their costumes on though, that had been when he’d found them frightening.
It didn’t matter that those were men who’d bounced him on their knees when he was a baby or
who’d taught him how to swing a baseball bat when he wanted to learn. Sam still felt an anxious
terror rising up in his stomach and he had to look away from them. He could never watch their
acts. The most he’d ever managed was halfway through before he bolted backstage. His mouth
felt dry, his palms felt sweaty and he didn’t feel safe again until that clown make-up had been
washed off.
So it seemed a cruel twist of fate that the man Sam fell in love with should be a clown.
**
Gabriel had tucked and rolled his way into Sam’s life nearly two years ago. He was a runaway.
He’d run away from his life, his family, from everything. It was a cliché that he ended up at the
circus. At first he’d just worked as a general dogsbody, selling tickets and popcorn, cleaning up
after the show, helping to pack up when the circus needed to move on. His natural comic talent
and timing had revealed itself slowly over time and even then, John Winchester had been reluctant
to let him preform.
Acts were passed down in families. The children of trapeze artists learned the trapeze. John
Winchester had trained his sons to be knife throwers and strong men. His father before him had
worked as a knife thrower and Sam’s mother had been able to lift twice her own weight. It was a
closed community with its own traditions and rules.
Bringing in an outsider was unusual. It was only when Bobby Singer, the old clown who’d been
part of the show since before it had been John’s, took Gabriel under his wing that Gabriel
officially became part of their circus family.
It had been a few more months of training and rehearsal before Gabriel made his big debut. Sam
had watched a few minutes of the act, hidden backstage, and he had to admit that Gabriel looked
at home in the spotlight. His smile, behind the bright red paint, was real.
Sam didn’t know when he’d fallen in love with Gabriel. It had been a slow, gradual process. At
first, he hadn’t even realized that it was happening. He and Gabriel had snarked and snarled at
each other. Gabriel liked to tease him. Almost from the moment he arrived, Sam was his favorite
victim.
Gabriel craved Sam’s attentions, negative or otherwise. It had taken Sam a long time to realize that
this was their version of flirtation. By the time he realized that, he also realized that it was too late.
He was in love with Gabriel and he couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t extract himself or nip it in
the bud.
He never doubted for a moment that Gabriel loved him back. It was obvious. The moment Sam
knew he loved Gabriel, he saw that everything Gabriel did was his way of showering him with
affection.
Sam had always been the one hesitating. Gabriel was just waiting for him to notice.
As soon as Sam did, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.
**
The trailer was small, cramped. It was only meant for one person and that person was lithe and
capable of bounding over the piles of useless rubbish that littered his room. Gabriel was not that
person. He’d already fallen over a pile of clothes that Castiel said were waiting for the next
laundry run. Now he was sat on a little stool at Castiel elbow, watching the trapeze artist apply his
stage make-up.
There were a lot of things about Castiel that weren’t fair, at least in Gabriel’s opinion, but the fact
that he could wear glittery blue eye shadow and make it look good was the worst. Somewhere in
her dressing room, two doors down from them, Castiel’s sister, Anna, would be applying glittery
red eye shadow and that would only make her look more strikingly beautiful too.
“Why are you pouting?” Castiel asked, glancing sideways at Gabriel, trying to hold the
conversation while continuing to get ready.
Gabriel regarded the picture he and Castiel made together in the mirror. Castiel in his skin tight
blue and white costume and Gabriel in his oversized trousers and brightly coloured shirt and tie.
Castiel looked sleek, elegant. Gabriel looked funny. Gabriel knew that was the point but even
when the costumes came off, they still looked the same.
“I’m just thinking that life isn’t fair,” he said with a sigh. “I wish I could be some loose limbed,
supple young thing.”
Castiel pulled a face.
“You sound like those old perverts who hit on me and Anna,” he said.
“You should put in the program that you’re married, The Dazzling Novaks – Husband and Wife
trapeze artists. That would stop them,” Gabriel said.
Castiel stuck his tongue out. “There’s enough interbreeding in the circus already without Anna
and me pretending to be married.”
“Besides,” he said, dropping his brush and reaching for a tube of lipstick. “Dean wouldn’t like it.”
“Dean wouldn’t like it,” Gabriel mimicked back, succeeding in sounding just as childish as he felt.
Even under all his stage make-up, Castiel’s cheeks flamed bright.
“Well, he wouldn’t,” he said awkwardly.
“I don’t think Dean would care,” Gabriel said, reaching out to pick up a compact from the
dressing table. He opened it, frowning when he saw that all it contained was face powder.
“You’ve got Dean all wrong,” Castiel said quietly.
He pursed his lips, uncapped his lipstick tube and slowly, methodically, traced the red pigment on
to his mouth. Gabriel watched him, frowning. None of it should work, but somehow Castiel just
looked even more lovely with his dark hair and his dark red lips. It was stage make-up, made to
help Castiel stand out, to make his features obvious to the crowd of paying customers but it just
enhanced what nature had given him.
Gabriel set the compact back down.
“He’s using you,” he said boldly. “I think he’s slept his way through every dancer and
contortionist his father has on staff. Anna wouldn’t give him the time of day so he changed his
mind and starting fucking her little brother. That’s what I think about Dean.”
Castiel continued to look mildly into the mirror. He didn’t even seem upset.
“You’ve said that before,” he said, dropping his gaze to hunt for something, probably finishing
spray to make sure it all stayed put under the hot lights.
“Just because I’ve said it before doesn’t mean I’m not right,” Gabriel said, crossing his arms over
his chest.
“What about Sam?” Castiel asked.
Gabriel’s own cheeks were painted on as two spots of bright, comical red. His own blush was
thankfully hidden beneath them.
“What about Sam?” he demanded. “Sam loves me.”
“Yes, you say that a lot too,” Castiel said, finding the little can of spray still buried in the bottom of
his make-up bag. “He hasn’t told his father yet, has he?”
“Has Dean told John about you?” Gabriel countered, feeling triumphant.
“John knows,” Castiel said. “I am, as you said, a distraction for Dean. He is confident that Dean
will tire of me and while Dean is amusing himself, it stops him from causing trouble.”
Castiel spoke so calmly, so matter of factly, that it completely floored Gabriel.
“Did he tell you this?” he asked.
“No, Dean told me. He was very angry,” Castiel said. “But his father has plans for the circus and
Dean settling down with me is not one of them.”
He closed his eyes for a moment and sprayed his face. Gabriel turned his head away, coughing.
“Yes,” he said, waving his hand in front of his face to try and get some of the spray away from
him. “But you can…I mean…it’s not about kids, is it?”
Castiel opened his eyes. He looked at Gabriel for a long, hard moment.
“I could give Dean children,” he said. “I wouldn’t be able to do it now. I would need to stop
working, I would need to eat more, stop taking my pills but I could do it.”
“So either John doesn’t want to break up his trapeze act or it’s just old fashioned prejudice,”
Gabriel guessed. “Personally, I’m going with prejudice.”
“He doesn’t like you because you’re an outside,” Castiel said.
“He doesn’t like anyone. He tolerates some people because they’re useful,” Gabriel said,
clenching his hands tight.
Castiel stood up abruptly.
“It’s almost show time,” he said. “We should go.”
Gabriel knew that he shouldn’t try to rattle Castiel before a show. Castiel and Anna preformed
without a net. If Castiel’s mind wasn’t completely focused on his work, if he missed a cue, he
could fall and break something. Worse than that, he could die or Anna could. Castiel would never
forgive himself if something happened to his sister.
“Yeah,” he said, getting up and carefully moving towards the door.
When they reached it, Castiel stopped him for a moment, his hand on Gabriel’s shoulder.
“What about you?” he asked seriously. “Could you give Sam children?”
Gabriel bit the inside of his cheek. Castiel was always so direct. He didn’t know how to hint at
things and the niceties of society had passed him by. Gabriel couldn’t even blame the circus for
that. Anna was completely normal.
“Uh,” he started, annoyed at not being able to think of any witty replies. “I…well, theoretically
speaking the pipes are all in working order, but I’ve never exactly been careful so I guess I’m just
one of those guys who can’t.”
Castiel nodded. He squeezed Gabriel’s shoulder sympathetically.
“And Sam?”
“Likes to use condoms,” Gabriel said with a shrug.
It might mean that Sam was one of the small percentage of men who could get pregnant or it
might mean that Sam was just careful. Some men were never tested to find out if they carried the
gene. Some of them didn’t want to know, didn’t want to believe it. Gabriel used to have a good
chortle over the number of accidental pregnancies that accounted for.
He always found it funnier when supposedly straight guys were standing there, hand on bump,
swearing it had just been a one-time thing and they’d accidentally fallen on some guy’s dick.
He’d been tested himself when he was a lot younger. When the tests came back positive, Gabriel
had decided his attitude to life would just be live and let live. If something happened, he’d be okay
with that and if nothing happened then he was going to be the luckiest guy fucking his way
around the clubs. That had been when he was younger.
Now he was older. Now he was in love.
Now, when he saw the headlines on trashy magazines about accidental pregnancies, he didn’t
laugh. He thought about how much he envied those guys.
He looked at Castiel, at his tight leotard and his muscular, skinny frame. There wasn’t an inch of
fat on him. There couldn’t be. Both he and Anna had to be light. Gaining weight would have
thrown off their whole routine, would have added pressure. Gabriel wondered if Castiel didn’t
look at other men who could fall pregnant so easily and envy them the way Gabriel did.
“Hey,” he said softly. “You’re young and John Winchester drinks. He’ll probably drop dead of a
heart attack soon and then Dean can marry you and you can have babies.”

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